Tag Archives: change

Sometimes it Feels Like an Uphill Climb

Why am I trying to fix myself? I’m not broken. Why this constant need to self-evaluate? What do I think is wrong?

For many years I have been on this path of self-development. It has been almost quest-like: seeking out teachers, watching their videos, listening to countless lectures, reading every book, blog, and Facebook post I could get my hands on. It is incredible what you can discover about yourself when you focus on it.

I recently completed Mentor Masterclass, a year long life coach training course. I have never participated in such an intense and incredibly rewarding experience. A year of walking my talk, learning tools and techniques to help you achieve your goals, and pushing myself out of my comfort zone has opened me up in ways I didn’t know before.

And I am ready for a break.

mountain viewSometimes this self-discovery journey is like a long, steady uphill climb – you need to pause and take in the view once in a while. You have to catch your breath and recommit to the climb because you know the view is going to be incredible at the top.

But what do you do when you realize you don’t want to climb anymore? You know you can’t go back down, yet the peak is so far off.

Do you blame your hiking equipment? “If only I had better hiking shoes, then I could make it all the way.”

Do you take it out on your hiking companions? “If only they hadn’t dragged me on this stupid hike.”

Or do you blame the mountain itself? “If only it wasn’t so fucking steep!”

No, you don’t do any of those.

You rest, for as long as you need to feel rested. You drink a lot of water. You refuel yourself with high quality food. You treat your blisters and stretch your muscles. And when you’re feeling truly rested and ready, you continue the climb.

I am half way up the mountain. I am taking a rest and taking care of myself. I’m not sure when I will start climbing again but when I do I share my discoveries with you here.

Are you in a similar place along the path? Feeling stuck and not sure which way to go? I would love to talk with you more about it and see if I can help you. I have just a couple of spots available this month so click on the Work with Me page to schedule a discovery session!

When Being Inspirational Hurts

What you seek is seeking youHow would you feel if you found out that you inspired someone to make a big change in their life but it just so happened to be a change that directly affects you?

In the past three months I have had two friends and colleagues make significant career changes that have left me experiencing a sense of loss and happiness all at the same time. Both of these friends are powerful, strong, amazing women that I have had the honor of working with for the past four years. Each brought a quality to our work that I envied: their willingness to speak their truth, to question the project, to wonder if there was another way. Both brought a sense of honesty and honor to their roles. While I was surprised at first that they were leaving I realized that these two women were taking risks and trusting in the greater vision for their lives.

The funny thing is, they both told me separately that I had inspired them to make a change.

Oh. Wasn’t expecting that.

They told me that by sharing my personal discoveries on this journey of personal growth I had inspired them to do the same. And what they discovered was that they needed to follow their hearts and that meant moving on to other places.  While I will miss seeing their names show up on my instant messenger at work I am happy they are experiencing the thrill of following their authentic direction. Dang, no one told me being inspirational can hurt.

What you seek is seeking you. ~ Rumi

Over the past ten years I have come out of my hiding place. I have begun to share my personal beliefs and philosophies. I have been crafting my message and venturing out beyond the safety of my journal. This is new territory for me and it wasn’t always easy to share my beliefs with the world. Learning to trust my intuition and allow myself to be guided has been the biggest challenge but also the most rewarding.

On this journey I have discovered that there are many people out there ready to learn new ways of thinking, new ways of be-ing.

They are tired of feeling like crap, of hiding their own brilliance, of waiting for the life they desire to come to them. They want to create that life NOW. Even if it feels a little scary. Even if they don’t have all the answers.

Is this you? Are you tired of not living your life to its fullest? Are you staying where you are because it feels safe? If you want to explore what it might look like for you to trust your gut and take a leap of faith then let’s talk. I have a couple of Discovery Sessions available this month and I would love to talk with you. Click here to learn more.

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How do you cope with transition?

noun: transition; plural noun: transitions

the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another.

How do you move through transitions? How do you cope with change? Do you stay locked in fear when life throws the rules out the window?

This past year I have been experiencing quite a bit of transition both personally and professionally. My oldest son moved out of the house and we have had to adjust to the change in family dynamic now that there are only three of us at home. I enrolled in a year-long coaching course that has been nothing but transition: letting go of old ideas and beliefs and strengthening new ones. I have begun transitioning into a new line of work and developing my own business. Now that’s a big transition. But recent changes at work have really got me thinking – how do my beliefs, my values affect my ability to cope with change and transition?

Tony  Robbins talks about the Six Human Needs: certainty, variety, significance, love/connection, growth, and contribution. We each have these needs but each of us values one higher than the other. For me, my top value is significance. I need to feel that I am making an impact on others and that I feel acknowledged for that. Right behind significance would be love and connection. If I don’t feel a connection with someone or something then it is hard for me to feel engaged.

Recently I have been challenged in the area of certainty, or the need to ensure comfort and ease. There have been many changes at work with our company splitting off from our parent company. We have new departments and processes. We have new people and systems to figure out. But we have also experienced transitions as people have left for other work. This particular transition can cause the most angst and bring out our own fears around change. We start to question if we should stay. We ask ourselves, “What did they know that I don’t?” We wonder if maybe we are choosing to stay safe instead of pushing ourselves to grow.

All of these kinds of transitions bring up long standing fears we each carry around. Fears and beliefs that were formed years ago. Fears of not being good enough or not having enough. Fear of not being liked or looking foolish. These fears and beliefs get translated into actions which in turn just cement these beliefs in our psyche.

So how can you bring a little more certainty into your life when transitions come along? You can stop and express gratitude for what you do have and what is certain in your life. For me that is thanks for a loving husband and family who supports me everyday. It’s thanks for the amazing people I get to work with everyday and the difference we are making in children’s lives.

You can take a moment to really connect with the people around you, in a truly tangible way. This can happen in the virtual realm as well as in the physical world. Can you text a friend and tell them how much you value their friendship? How about asking the clerk at the grocery store how their day is going instead of ignoring them? The next time your child asks you a question, put the phone down and really truly listen.

You can spend 10 minutes in the morning connecting to your breath and to your inner landscape through a simple meditation. Follow the rhythm of your breath or listen to a guided meditation if that helps you stay grounded.

For me, the most effective way I can bring more certainty into my life in times of transition if to recommit to spreading my message and walking my talk each and every day.

What is your top human need? What can you do to nurture that need and support it? How do you cope with transition? I would love to hear!

I have two openings for coaching if you feel called to dive a little deeper into this conversation. Contact me for a FREE session to see if this is a good fit for you.